From D.C. to Beijing

Friday, October 05, 2007

8 months as a family!

Yesterday was our 8 month anniversary as a family of 3. We have had a rough week here with little chicklepea sick, baba's new job and my test. It has been tough but we are hanging in there. Sorry there are no new pictures but to be honest we haven't been able to get out much.

We were going to go pick out a pumpkin but it has been in the upper 80's and I really want to go when it feels like fall. It is times like this I miss living in Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Minnesota.

We are doing better with attachment now that I recognize her pattern. She will have a few really good weeks where there will be vast improvements in her attachment to us and then she will regress some. A few days to a week later she is back to here previous attachment level and then improves some. It is a cycle and now that I see it I am able to weather the regression much better.

Eva has had some improvements in her speech. She is now sometimes making the b sound, the w and a very rare r. I am so proud of her. I cannot even imagine how hard the last 8 months have been on her.

She was never asked if she wanted to come to our family. She fits in so well with N and I. I love to see her grow and change, I know the adoption questions are coming. She is a smart person and it is only a matter of time. I hope I can give her many of the answers she will need. I know there are many questions I will have no answer for. I cannot tell her so many things about those 21 months I missed. I did not carry her or give birth to her so I cannot tell her about how that experience went. I hope to be able to guide her to finding the answers she will seek. I cannot ever know what she will feel and I think if I ever portrayed that to her that I would be minimizing her experiences. I will be loving when she is angry about her loss, I will give her space to seek her answers. I will try not to let my desire to be her mother get in the way of her happiness.

I want above all things for my sweet baby to be happy.

It has been an incredible 8 months!!


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