From D.C. to Beijing

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A family for almost 5 months

Wednesday will be 5 months together! I cannot believe that much time has gone by. We love her so much but it hasn't be at all what I expected. As time goes by I am more and more convinced that her behavior is not normal for a two year old. After surgery if it continues I think we will look for a local therapist to get some help. She has made it almost impossible to go into public with her at all. Almost ever single place we go she has this shrill hurt cry that she does that makes everyone turn to look at us like we just hit her. It is frustrating beyond words.

I know that most people think N and I exaggerate her behavioral problems but if anything we down play them. I so want her to be normal but it just isn't normal to have some of her problems that are not only not improving but getting worse.

As far as attachment goes i think she has a good attachment to N and I. It is not s secure attachment yet but well on its way I think. She has been adding a few words a week lately. I feel so bad because she is trying so hard to speak and communicate with us. I hope the palate surgery goes well. I was not scared until today when we drove to the hospital to make sure we knew where we were going on Tuesday.

The thought of my little baby hurt and in pain makes me crazy but I do not think the full impact will hit me until she is wheeled away from me asleep.

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