From D.C. to Beijing

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Co Sleeping !@!@@@!

Ok to be honest I should just lie and say that of course my baby sleeps in her crib just like most children. But she doesn't. she hasn't for going on 2 weeks now. As we speak she is again napping in my bed. She hates the crib with a passion now. She screams like her body is on fire when we put her in it.

I really do not like sleeping with her. I mean if she cuddled or was snugly I might but she is active and possessive. She will grab hold of my clothing or my hair in her sleep and if I move she wakes up screaming. I know this is a set back from the surgery but come on!! For the love of sleep I need to get a full night of sleep.

The only plus to this co sleeping thing is she seems to be better behaved and more attached in the day time. I mean we went to the mall alone and she was the best I have ever seen her. She even let me hold up the dresses to her back to see if they would fit!!

The down side of course is the lack of sleep and the fact that I really really miss N! We are not even going to try to get her back in the crib until the no no comes off in about a week.

Another thing that bothers me about it is I would have understood her need when we got her in China but it is almost 6 months later. I guess I thought she would never need it.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wow lots to catch up on

Chicken Pea had her surgery on July 3rd. She had it done at INOVA Falls Church. It went great. the doctors we great, the nurses were fantastic and above all the insurance paid with no trouble at all!!!!!!

Seeing my baby in that much pain was not something I was prepared for. I was not prepared for the blood oozing out of her little mouth and nose. I knew it would because the packet that her doctor described.

We came home on Friday July 6th. It got very rough at that point. She was in a lot of pain for a few days but then began to feel better.

Now we have a new problem.....SLEEP!!!! She will not sleep in her crib. For the first 16 days after surgery I would get up with her and be up from 12-4 am! It was horrible. I am sure it was because she can not suck her thumb.

So it is Chicken pea and me in the bed and N on the blow up in the den. I have to say this is not anything like what I imagined.

She does sleep better in the bed but she is a very active sleeper. I usually end up hugging the edge of the bed all night while she roams around. The last 2 days I have gotten her to nap in the crib and I really really hope she will sleep in the crib again soon.

I know everyone would like pictures but with her not sleeping I have no time to re size and send them.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Less than 24 hours before surgery

In about 24 hours from now Eva's surgery will be done. I am so worried. I didn't sleep at all last night. I am worried about her pain and about her feeding and sleep issues returning!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A family for almost 5 months

Wednesday will be 5 months together! I cannot believe that much time has gone by. We love her so much but it hasn't be at all what I expected. As time goes by I am more and more convinced that her behavior is not normal for a two year old. After surgery if it continues I think we will look for a local therapist to get some help. She has made it almost impossible to go into public with her at all. Almost ever single place we go she has this shrill hurt cry that she does that makes everyone turn to look at us like we just hit her. It is frustrating beyond words.

I know that most people think N and I exaggerate her behavioral problems but if anything we down play them. I so want her to be normal but it just isn't normal to have some of her problems that are not only not improving but getting worse.

As far as attachment goes i think she has a good attachment to N and I. It is not s secure attachment yet but well on its way I think. She has been adding a few words a week lately. I feel so bad because she is trying so hard to speak and communicate with us. I hope the palate surgery goes well. I was not scared until today when we drove to the hospital to make sure we knew where we were going on Tuesday.

The thought of my little baby hurt and in pain makes me crazy but I do not think the full impact will hit me until she is wheeled away from me asleep.